Luckily I had the support of my mother as I roamed through endless sale racks at Macy's trying to find ones appealing enough to try on. Every option that was presented to me prompted one of two answers: "Sure, why not?" or "Ummmm absolutely not." About an hour later, I had found two perfect suits. I was ecstatic. They were comfortable and flattering. But most important to me, they were modest.
Modest. What a heavy word. It can mean so much, but at the same time, imply such a large gray area. So how do I determine that something I am wearing is modest? I have a simple one-question test that I use: "Would I feel comfortable wearing this in front of my father?"
This war is waged every summer in many Christian homes. The morals vs. the bikinis. To wear or not to wear? Does modesty count on the beach? Are we leaving room for imagination? Blah, blah, blah.
Before I continue on my feelings about modesty and bathing suits (or just modesty in general), let me reveal a frustrating aspect of this "soapbox": I feel my opinion would carry far more validity if I had the body to don an immodest bathing suit. "Oh yeah, easy for fat-so to knock bikinis." Look- I'm not a small girl. And I'm not one of those girls who labels themselves as "curvy", holding up deuces and in a mirror-pic saying "meat is better than bones!". I get it- I'm overweight. I have plenty of junk in an extra-large trunk. Do I hate myself? No. Do I wear clothes that do not fit in an attempt to feel better about squeezing into a smaller size? No. I wear my size (ladies, you fool no one). However, I am down 25 lbs. since I started living a healthier lifestyle and am proud of it! Could I be doing better? Sure. Okay, lost my train of thought.
I do possess some "assets" I could easily... highlight... in a bathing suit. So maybe that gives me a little room to have an opinion on the matter. :)
There are two arguments I want to address in the "Bikini Wars":
1) "You don't wear clothes like that in the mall, so what makes them acceptable on the beach?"
We are going freaking swimming. Though I love 3x Hanes shirts and colashes as much as the next guy, they just aren't fun to swim in. Next.
2) "You are responsible for guarding the hearts of men."
1 Corinthians talks about refraining from eating a meat that causes your brother to stumble. I get the message. If you can do something to protect the heart of another, do it. But you can only do so much. That's a really difficult line to draw in the sand. I'm not saying this is argument is invalid, but I don't feel it's the appropriate one to apply in this situation. Unless you are wearing a bathing suit complete with artificial leg and chest hair, it will make a guy look twice. And sadly in some cases, even with the body hair. Okay I need to stop talking about that.
So what IS our argument? What is our rubric of bathing suit wearing and what the Lord would find pleasing? I don't know what yours is or should be, but I will share with you mine:
What is the motivation of my heart when I put on this bathing suit?
Get it? Pretty easy right? Let's face it: God is not in Heaven comparing our bathing suit to an adjustable dressform mannequin saying: "Hm, nope. It shows 4.6 more square inches of skin than it should. I'm going to chalk this up as a loss."
"The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7
Do you think God cares about my cleavage, or the message I want my cleavage to convey? Does He care about my cheeks hanging out in the back (and front, side... all of the above), or the eyes I want staring at them? Am I satisfied with my bathing suit choice because I feel like a lady, or because my body screams "Check me out!"
I don't have a daughter. Maybe if God decides to bless me with the option to have children again, He will bless me with one. If I did have a daughter, my heart would pray over her innocence incessantly. I pray for my son's, but let's face it: he won't be faced with the decision between Daisy Dukes or Bermuda shorts. (well, I hope not, anyway). I grow sick with concern at the pressure she would face to flaunt her body or to look a certain way. I just pray she understands that the message of her clothes is so much more important that the style itself. I pray she knows that the man God has for her one day will be madly in love with her heart and her warmth instead of the length of her shorts or depth of her tan. I pray my daughter will equate the comfort of wearing something in front of her earthly father with the approval of her Heavenly one.
Maybe your father is different than mine. I know he's not as awesome. That's a given. But maybe he is not as concerned with your modesty as much as my father is with mine. I pray that's not true, but if it is, remember there is another Father who does care. He cares about your heart and the message you desire to convey with your body.
I wouldn't judge someone for what they wear. If you can rock a bikini and you feel modest, I wouldn't second guess your judgement. Rock on with your sweet self. As for this ghostly, flabby girl, I'll stick with my one-pieces. You're welcome.
By the way... here is one of my suits from today.
And yes, my father loves it. :)
