It needs to be said.

This is extremely difficult for me to admit. Difficult, embarrassing, shameful... I could go on. I've been putting it off, but it needed to be said sometime. So here I go.

My marriage is over.

There it is. That's it. I don't know how to successfully expound on that in a manner that is pleasant to read. There are more questions than answers right now. Not just for you, but for me. More than I'm willing to answer, anyway.

I'm sure I'll be judged for ending my marriage. "How could you do that with a newborn baby? How are you going to raise him on your own? Aren't you doing a disservice to him?"

Let me assure you of something really fast: My kid will be without nothing. What was done needed to be done a long time ago, but for some reason, God wanted this kid to be in this world. I am so sure of it. My child has a grand purpose in this life, and I'm so thankful I have him. I always wondered where my strength came from to continue in my marriage, and then he was born, and I wondered no more.

"What about counseling? Have you sought help?" Listen, I'm not just throwing this away on a whim. It's not like I woke up one morning and said, "Hm, I think I want to get divorced today." Wise counsel has been sought on behalf of the parties willing to seek help. I trust the authorities from whom I have accepted advice and counsel. A part of me accepted a very long time ago that the logistics of my marriage were inoperable, and somewhere along the way I subconsciously surrendered to a countdown clock.

It's made me look at the world differently. Appreciate people who have been divorced and successfully moved on. Who have successfully raised their kids on their own or partnering with their ex. But I will tell you one thing, my home will NEVER be labeled as broken. It is far from it. It used to be broken. We will say it is now in the process of being remodeled, and will eventually be prime real estate.

If I let myself stop and think about it, I get terribly upset. This is not how I imagined my life turning out to be. I can't go to the store without seeing families with their children, and I hurriedly try to turn the corner on the next aisle so I can wipe my tears. I look at family pictures on Facebook, and wonder if my friends are truly grateful for what they have.

At the end of the day, I have the most wonderful family to support me and my son. I couldn't make it without them. I hold my son and he smiles back at me, like he knows I would do everything in my power to help him have a great life. Because I will. It might not be the best anyone has ever had, but it will be the best I can provide. Though it's not the American Dream, my son is my dream come true. I will emerge from this stronger and wiser, and as a result, a better mother for my son.